VERONICA OSORIO'S FAKE BIO

Veronica Osorio was born on a boat while her parents were having sex, something about the sex got her curious to come out and see what was up. She came out a little sea sick instead and vomiting ruined her plans to confront her horny father and mother. That boat was NOT the Titanic, stop asking!

Years later she was 14, and after an intense conversation in the mirror before her small town's annual meeting, Veronica decided that she'd go into the calculator business, no one in her town had a good time imagining numbers, much less adding them up and she knew she'd be rich soon! Rich enough to be ale to pay her own plane ticket to go to whatever High School the video "Hit Me Baby One More Time" happened in. She was LIT after that video and wanted to study at a place that would provide her with sexy dance breaks when class were too boring.

She attended the Britney Spears High School and graduated professional sexy dancer, which was a waste because she never used it. Not professionally anyway HONK HONK (mom, stop reading if you're gonna get like that then). She went to college and got a major in "Quick Businesses for Quick Cash" and a minor in "Pyramid Schemes" she graduated ready to be a day time business rat. Throughout college she already had created and vanished several different quick businesses, the main college teacher person thought she was great and awarded her a diploma, she had to pay for that diploma, whatever, sometimes she is happy to be participant (victim) in someone else's ratty business plan.

*editing note: Edit out the jail parts, don't forget*

With no criminal records that mattered, Veronica moved to the BEST CITY IN THE WORLD, Newark, NJ! Where she scammed her way to the top now she owns several pawn shops and definitely exchanges currency at airports, yeah baby easy cash! She's currently in two acclaimed films... criminal justice ones (or documentaries whatever) and maintains several very needy lovers of all genders and races. 

She's interested in participating in anything that will either 1. Give her free money 2. Will clean her record 3. Relates to margaritas and sombreros, cuz she a party beast. She has no sons that she's aware of and her ideal sport is driving golf carts in her mind.

Veronica has definitely urinated in public and is no ashamed to admit she gets a weird rush from it. HIRE HER!